As we approach the opening round of the NFL Playoffs, let’s take a look at the bets I love and the bets I hate for this weekend’s slate of games. In this WIldcard Weekend Bets, we will look at three games I feel very good about, and three games I am avoiding like the plague. Locusts are very nutritious, and drinking blood works for vampires, we shouldn’t judge. It’s 2021 yall. So let’s start with my favorite bet of them all. Lines courtesy of Bovada.

Buffalo -6.5 over Indianapolis

This is the Wildcard Weekend Bets Lock! Buffalo comes into this matchup hotter than a Ninja working summer security for tech companies harvesting lithium from Africa. What do they even wear under their robes? Probably more robes, which in turn gets them hot, see where I am going here? Buffalo is hotter than teacher, and Indianapolis is gonna get put in detention. Their vaunted defense has looked more like a haunted defense, and teams have run right through them lately. Granted, two of those games were against Deshaun Watson, but hey, they get Josh Allen this week.

Allen brings along the NFL’s second-ranked offense in yards per game and points per game. Indy won’t be able to keep up. I expect Indianapolis keeps it closer early, but Buffalo will have the game in hand when the fourth quarter begins. With an Over/Under of 51.5, Over is another favorite of Wildcard Weekend Bets.

Tampa Bay -8 over Washington

If I felt like Alex Smith, Antonio Gibson, and Terry McLaurin were all healthy at 100%, you wouldn’t see me this comfortable. But even at 90% each, that’s 270 of a possible 300% availability situation. That is 30%, or as much as the markups for TB12 water he pours from his faucet. Who would actually believe that? It’s way more than 30%. Washington has the defense to make this interesting, and the offense to make them wonder why they should. Again, healthy, I would enjoy this game. But they looked bad against Philly, they aren’t right, and Tom Brady is playing lights out, which for him I imagine happens at 5;30 PM Eastern time. Or whenever Wheel of Fortune ends.

Mike Evans looks like he has a great shot of playing this week, Tampa Bay is loaded with weapons top to bottom, everyone is relatively healthy, and Washington is gonna have problems for 60 minutes. I don’t realistically know how much they will be able to score, an Over/Under of 4 makes me feel meh, I imagine the majority of the scoring is done by Tampa. If forced, I would go over, but it is not at all one of my favorite Wildcard Weekend Bets.

Tennesee +3 over Baltimore

I’m not fooled by Baltimore’s resurgence. They have exploitable weaknesses on offense. That weakness is called: Lamar Jackson’s arm. He might look ok against this Titans defense, but he will not be able to keep up with Derrick Henry and Denzel/Coach Yolks boys, Ryan “Sunshine” Tannehill needs to get his hair growing asap. I took a lot of flack for saying Lamar would throw for just 3,094 yards in my preseason Ravens Projection’s article, and it turns out, I overestimated that number. He threw for just 2,757 yards. You can’t see me now, but I am wearing “I told you so” looks on my face.

Meanwhile, Tannehill had a majestic year, yes majestic. Imagine the long flowing locks, and you will see the majesty. Henry and A.J. Brown might be the two most talented players at their position not named Davante Adams. This offense can eviscerate opponents, as they tied with Buffalo for 2nd in yards, and finished 4th in points scored.

Baltimore has had a salty defense, but Tennessee loves salt on their BBQ, and they are bringing the smokers and pits to tailgate. The Titans ranked 19th against the run in 2020, and will only need a couple stops to let their offense take the game over. Tennessee has an offense built to play in every scenario, and don’t need much from their defense to take home the W. Baltimore’s season ends in early disappointment once again.

LA Rams @ Seattle -3.5

Yikes, Which Seattle and which Rams team are we getting this week? This game is less about the Rams than it is about the Seahawks for me. Which version do we get? Will Russell Wilson cook? WIll Seattle’s D be cooked? When Seattle is right, they are elite. Can they get elite enough in time to advance? Good question. The Rams are a solid albeit unspectacular offense, with a great defense. They can make noise, but I cannot foresee them getting noise complaints.

I’ll be more confident betting Seattle next week if they win, and I can’t see myself betting the Rams regardless due to what I view as a meh, ok, 11th ranked yardage and 22nd ranked points per game offense. Because I can’t confidently project which Seattle team we see, I am avoiding the Over/Under as well. When it comes to Wildcard Weekend Bets, this game makes me less enthusiastic than Carol Baskin is for her backyard to be excavated. How is that lady free?

Bears @ Saints -10

Well, Is Drew Brees right? Is Michael Thomas playing? How about Alvin Kamara? Is Nagy gonna try to start Nick Foles? Seriously though, that guy was starting Foles in 2020, what a weird year. With two defenses that lay wood harder than Ron Jeremy, this could very well be a low-scoring game. However, Chicago has an offense that has been, as weird as it is to say, good lately. David Montgomery has emerged from his cocoon a butterfly, juking and trucking defenders with his elegant wings. Spread those wings, David. Also, Allen Robinson is criminally underrated. He balls more than Lamelo and Lonzo, and almost as much as Lavar.

Because we are dealing with two good offenses and two good defenses, the Over/Under scares me more than a cough in an elevator. I think this is going to be a very fun game either way, and while I do expect a Saints victory, 10 points is double-digits. Chicago is not bad at all. I would rather watch and enjoy without laying my money on this game.

Cleveland @ Pittsburgh -6

Ok, Covid, is this revenge for all the BS you made the Steelers deal with this regular season? No Kevin Stefanski? How in the world do you expect to know how that is gonna affect things. Maybe Baker goes Peyton Manning, calls the offense himself, and invites the Steelers back to the stadium for queso and book club after filming a commercial post-victory. Maybe they score 3 points because they are the Cleveland Browns. How you bet Cleveland period this postseason, I dunno.

And let’s not pretend Pittsburgh is this model of consistency and a powerhouse heading into the playoffs. They have been kinda crappy since their first loss, and outside small bursts, they have been the opposite of good. Diontae Johnson is Clifford Franklin. I firmly expect Roethlisberger and his fries to emerge victorious, but 6 points are more than I’m comfortable with. Nick Chubb can warp games. That man is a machine. And Pittsburgh’s run game is weaker than a Scotch and water, hold the scotch. Too many variables, even the great Dustin Hoffman couldn’t figure them out. Avoid this game like it’s Adam Gase asking you for a job.

Thanks for reading Wildcard Weekend Bets. Got a bet you love? Hate my guts for mine? Let me know, we can get through this. this relationship is worth fighting for. You can find me on Twitter @realryanhicks, and you can find that and more @BellyUpFantasy. Also, you can see me live every Wednesday on Belly Up Fantasy Live, starting back up after next week! We talk dynasty, offseason, SEC, you name it. We would love to have you, maybe dinner afterward?